The Book of Ephesians ~ Chapter 5:29-31 ~ Husbands are to Nourish and Cherish Their Wives! ~ Doctrine of Right Man / Right Woman

Vol. 16 No 32 – August 6, 2017

 I have found the one whom my soul lovesEphesians 5:29-31

29″for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, 30 because we are members of His body. 31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

Husbands, how are you doing at nourishing your wife? Are you physically and spiritually nourishing her? Are you cherishing your wife? Are you admiring her and complimenting her? Are you sacrificing for your wife?

The imagery as applied to Christ’s treatment of the Church is meant to remind us of His nourishing and cherishing of her, along with His constant provision for and building up of her; His body, cf. Eph 4:11–16, and His sanctifying and cleansing of her through the Baptism of the Holy Spirit and the Word, cf. Eph 5:26.

Yet, if we have arrogance in the marriage, it is doomed to failure. The “me, myself, and I” syndrome prevents marriages from advancing beyond the attraction stage. The man is so designed in his body that if he is in a state of arrogance, he cannot fulfill his Divine obligation for marriage. He cannot give physically or mentally of himself while in a state of arrogance.

Likewise, if the wife is full of unrealistic expectation with arrogance, she cannot give either physically or mentally of herself. Therefore, she becomes bitter, frustrated, miserable, full of hatred and self-justification, which leads to the “me, myself, and I” syndrome. Instead, Christian husbands and wives must bring into the marriage a mental and spiritual rapport from the position of Spiritual Self-Esteem.

The first half of vs. 29 is the negative illustration of Spiritual Self-Esteem. It is a reference to normal people, not abnormal people. The last half along with vs. 30, is the positive illustration, and explains the analogy of Eph 5:28, “So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies.”

Spiritual Self-Esteem is the effective function of the adult believer’s Impersonal Love directed toward his wife and toward himself. It is the effective function of the husband’s personal responsibility toward his wife. When a husband has Spiritual Self-Esteem, he has something far better than Personal Love. He has stabilization in life through freedom from arrogance and Christian degeneracy.

When a husband has Spiritual Self-Esteem in life he has:

  • Tranquility of soul.
  • Stability of mentality. Never feeling threatened by others; never succumbing to peer pressure.
  • Composure marked by self-assurance.
  • Grace orientation to life.
  • Doctrinal orientation to reality.
  • Good decisions from a position of strength.
  • Personal control of life.
  • A personal sense of destiny.
  • Self-confidence from wisdom, the application of doctrine to your experience.
  • Poise, the believer under spiritual self-command.

Achieving Spiritual Self-Esteem means he is on the road to Spiritual Maturity and is able to conquer people testing, thought testing, system testing, and disaster testing. If he is able to overcome the various forms of testing under Suffering for Blessing, he is then able to provide for and lead his wife through them victoriously too, by providing for her the necessary resources in nourishing and cherishing her.

In addition, when a husband achieves Spiritual Self-Esteem, he now has the virtue necessary to apply AGAPE love as Christ loved the Church.

Virtue is defined as having grace-righteousness with integrity, in the application of Impersonal Love. And remember that virtue is that quality of intrinsic good that can only be manufactured by God the Holy Spirit and doctrinal application.

Virtue is not proving one’s worth; the believer who is trying to prove something cannot improve. Instead, it is having Divine humility with grace orientation in self-sacrificial love that you express towards others, especially towards your wife in marriage.

Whatever destroys virtue in marriage, destroys happiness in marriage and turns love into a disaster. Unhappiness in marriage is simply a manifestation of one’s failure to execute the Plan of God due to failure to grow spiritually.

Everyone sins in marriage, but not everyone is virtuous in marriage. The demand syndrome, on the part of either spouse, is a total lack of virtue. It means that personal love is outside the integrity of impersonal love. Instead of the demand syndrome directed toward self, there must be trust directed toward one’s spouse.

How do you trust your spouse or anyone? By having Spiritual Self-Esteem, which is directed toward your spouse or others in trust. You base your trust on who and what you are, not who and what they are. That is the function of the faith-rest life. Loser believers do not trust anyone, including themselves.

A successful marriage depends upon a successful spiritual life. A successful spiritual life depends on the filling of the Holy Spirit, plus momentum from metabolized Bible doctrine. No believer can have a successful marriage apart from a successful relationship with God. Relationship with God is the basis for every blessing that comes out of marriage. Therefore, Bible doctrine must be number one on your scale of values and must be applied to every situation in life.

If your relationship with God is a failure, your relationship with people and in marriage is a failure.

There is no solution to the problems of marriage in psychology and human viewpoint. All solutions for the believer come from application of the principles of Bible doctrine. You cannot have application without knowledge of doctrine.

Marital problems are symptoms; the disease is human failure in life. No marriage can be successful without virtue on the part of one or both partners. There are two sources of virtue in marriage.

  • For the unbeliever, virtue originates from the observation of the Laws of Divine Establishment, or morality without arrogance.
  • For the believer, virtue originates from two sources.
  • Constant post-salvation renewing of the mind, which results in momentum and spiritual maturity.
  • Understanding and using the Problem-Solving Devices of the plan of God.

You cannot change your spouse in marriage; you really can only change yourself. This change requires spiritual energy in three spheres; learning, thinking, and solving.


The husband should provide, nourish, and care for his bride, just as he cares for himself. No one hates his own body but takes care of it; “nourishes and cherishes.” Thus, as Christ loves the church, His body, (of which all believers are members; cf. Eph 4:25), so should husbands love their wives as their own bodies. Men care for their bodies even though they are imperfect, and so they should care for their wives though they are imperfect.

The analogy between the man and his body, as well as Christ and the Church, is emphasized here by two verbs EKTREPHO, normal nourishment providing food and shelter, and so on. EKTREPHO meant to nourish or rear children originally. The verb THALPO, meaning, “to impart warmth, to provide tender care, to comfort, also means here reasonable care.” A reasonable person provides reasonable care.

How does Christ nourish us in the analogy? He nourishes us by making available to us Bible doctrine and the filling of God the Holy Spirit. The availability of Bible teaching and Bible doctrine is equivalent to Christ nourishing the Church. Providing reasonable care is analogous to the utilization of Bible doctrine, through the power of the filling of God the Holy Spirit, once acquired in the soul. Once the believer has Bible doctrine in the soul, he begins to think Divine viewpoint and has the problem-solving devices for life.

The analogy is also based on the fact that the right man initiates love toward his right woman, just as Christ initiates love through the availability and teaching of Bible doctrine.

Remember, God ordained marriage. Christ set the pattern for marriage. The Spirit empowers marriage. The good news of the gospel is that Christ died for those who could not keep demands perfectly. And the good news is that the Spirit daily renews us and empowers us as we look to Christ for grace and mercy. Therefore, husbands, as we all, should dwell on the love of Christ daily, as they seek to live out a Spirit-filled marriage.

Vs. 31

In concluding the discourse on the responsibilities of wives and husbands in marriage, Paul goes back to Genesis and the inception of Divine Institution # 2, to confirm his reasoning. This constitutes the most profound and fundamental statement in all Scripture relative to God’s plan concerning marriage.

Eph 5:31, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

A first emphasis here is that both individuals are to break away from the family unit they were reared in, to establish a new one. The two individuals become one in doing so. It is not that they no longer have a relationship with the families they were nurtured by, but that the main emphasis and focus for this love, is to be between the husband and wife.

For this reason,” is the appeal to husbands to love their wives as their own bodies. It begins with the Preposition ANTI, ἀντί that functions in a variety of ways in Greek determined by the context in each particular case. Here, it indicates the reason for both the wife’s and husband’s responsibilities inside the marriage. In fact, the text in Genesis in the Septuagint actually uses HENEKEN, “because of, for this cause, on account of, for the sake of, or by reason of,” rather than ANTI, as does Mat 19:5 and Mark 10:7, which also demonstrates the sense of reason Paul is intending here. ANTI in our verse means, “for this cause or because of,” to indicate the reason why a man is to leave his mother and father. With ANTI is the Demonstrative Pronoun HOUTOS for, “this.” The Hebrew uses two words, the Preposition AL, עַל, “on account of,” and Adverb KEN, כֵּן, “thus,” for the emphasis of, “for this reason,” as is translated in Eph 5:31.

Gen 2:24, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.”

Therefore, quoting Gen 2:24, constitutes a final justification for the appeal that husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.

Man” is the generic ANTHROPOS in the subject Nominative Singular.

Shall leave,” is the Verb KATALEIPO in the Future, Active, Indicative that means, “leave behind, abandon, forsake, or depart.” From the root LEIPO, “leave,” and the prefix, KATA, “according to,” here it is not a harsh departure or forsaking, but the fact of separating from the first love of your childhood, your family, to be joined to your new one.

The family he is to leave is noted in the combination of HO PATER KAI HO METER in the direct object Accusative case for “his father and his mother.” The two definite articles are used as possessive Pronouns in reference to parents under Divine Institution #3.

This is the first and very important principle, that there must be a definite leaving behind of the childhood family, because they are in authority over the son or daughter. He must leave them behind because of assuming responsibility of authority for his new family. The young man must be cut off from the authority of his parents, so that he can rightly exercise his authority over his wife. While it may work in some cases, it is much better for newly wedded couples not to live with their families, nor even extremely close to them, as the ties to the old families may not be broken to the extent necessary for the new couple to bond as they should.

And shall be joined,” indicates the new family he is to be connected to, with the Conjunction KAI, and the Future, Passive, Indicative Verb PROSKOLLAOMAI, προσκολλάομαι that means, “adhere to, be devoted to, or join.” It comes from the root KOLLAO that means, “to glue or cement, join, cling, cleave to, or join oneself to.”  It is primarily used figuratively as here, to describe a close social contact, an intimate sexual relationship. Sometimes it is also used for a personal spiritual relationship.

We also have the prefix of the Preposition PROS, “to, toward, or face to face,” that does not significantly change the meaning, but intensifies it. We could translate this as “he shall have sexual intercourse.” The Future tense is a Gnomic Future for a timeless general fact, which may be rightfully expected under normal conditions. The Passive Voice is very deceptive, because it is a Deponent verb, in which the form is Passive, but the meaning is Active. The husband produces the action of the verb. The Indicative mood is declarative, it denotes certainty, and it represents the verbal idea from the viewpoint of reality. He has sex with his wife is in view.

This word is used in the NT for the quotation of Gen 2:24 in Mat 19:5; Mark 10:7, and our verse, and is used in Acts 5:36 for the simple act of a group of men banding together.

This is the second principle. The marriage tie takes precedence over every other human relationship, and for this reason is to be regarded as inviolable. Therefore, a new couple needs to “cleave” to each other in every sense of the word. The act of having sex together is a wonderful demonstration and part of the complete union that marriage is. This joining together also means, accepting the other person completely and not trying to reform each other. It means a person is who they are, and the other member must accept them for who they are and learn how to live with and love them. If you are trying to change them into something they are not, it will inevitably fail.

The person the man is to “be joined” with is “to his wife,” PROS HO GUNE AUTOS. It should be translated “with his wife,” because it means an association in which both volitions are involved, in which the desire of both is involved, in which two people express the love of their souls in physical coalescence. The marriage of right man, right woman is consummated by the sex act, and sex love is designed by God for maximum expression in the marital relationship.

The third principle is, as they allow the process to work, the two will be experientially woven into one fabric. Legally this takes place when they are united in marriage, but experientially it continues over their entire lifetime.

And the two shall become one flesh,” is the reason for the man leaving his father and mother, and joining to his wife. It is made up of KAI, “and,” with the Progressive Future, Middle Deponent, Indicative, 3rd Person, Plural of the Verb EIMI, “to be, exist, live, become, etc.,” with HO DUO, “the two,” EIS, “into,” SARX, “flesh, human, etc.,” HEIS, “one.”

This indicates that their relationship in marriage is not only one of the soul, but one of the body, and it continues to be that way on into the future.

The difference between Gen 2:24 and our verse is the personal Pronoun “they,” is changed to “the two,” to indicate one man and one woman, as was the only case in the Garden of Eden. Therefore, this refers to the right man, right woman relationship. It views them in the state of marriage.

Jesus emphasized the two becoming one in Mat 19:4-6 and Mark 10:7-9, when speaking on divorce.

Mark 10:6-9, “But from the beginning of creation, God ‘made them male and female. 7for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, 8and the two shall become one flesh;’ so they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”

The fourth principle is that the bond between husband and wife is greater than that between parent and child.

This mystical union between a wife and a husband is one of the most marvelous relationships known to humans. The greatness of the mystery refers to the two becoming one flesh. Next to the spiritual relationship a Christian has with Jesus Himself, the marital bond is no doubt the strongest tie any one person could have with another person, with the love for children a close third. This is one reason the act of sexual intercourse is so sacred. It is the ultimate expression of two companions showing their love to each other. It should not be cheapened! Again, of course, the matter of voluntary submission comes into focus. Christians, who truly follow Paul’s instructions in vs. 21, are people who will enjoy their marital relationship.

The Scriptures reinforce the truth that husbands must love their wives as Christ loves the Church by referring to Gen 2:24. It describes beautifully the leaving, cleaving, and weaving process through which people go as they leave their childhood homes and establish new homes of their own. As we will see in the next verse, Paul is actually first speaking about Christ and the Church, and secondly speaking about the union between husbands and wives. This tells us that our earthly union is predicated on our heavenly union with Christ and not vice versa. The standard and prototype for these instructions about human marriage is the bond between the heavenly Bridegroom and His bride. “He is arguing from the Heavenly Marriage to human marriages, not vice versa; he is seeing the human in the light of the heavenly, and therefore will have the human model itself on the heavenly.” (Chavasse, “The Bride of Christ,” quoted by the Word Biblical Commentary.) The union between Christ and the Church is the prototype for the relationship of believing husbands and wives.

The Doctrine of Right Man, Right Woman
Based on the Doctrine and Book by R.B. Thieme, Jr.

Gen 2:18, “Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”

  • There are three gifts from Jesus Christ given in the Scripture.
  • The first is the right woman; He built her, Prov 18:22; 19:13-14.
  • The second is salvation; He did it.
  • The third is Bible doctrine; He thought it. Doctrine is the mind of Christ, 1 Cor 2:16.

Historically speaking, the first gift that Jesus Christ ever gave to man was a right woman, Gen 2:18. The fall of man did not change their relationship.

  • When man was created, Jesus Christ said, “Not good that man should be alone,” Gen 2:18. Therefore, in grace, Jesus Christ constructed a right woman for the man and brought the woman to the man. The relationship was established from the beginning during innocence and continued after the fall. The fall did not change the relationship. This relationship was designed for maximum human happiness and even an unbeliever with failure and an otherwise miserable life, can find great happiness in this gift from Jesus Christ. So, it is a gift for the unbeliever as well as the believer, Ecc 9:9.

Ecc 9:9, “Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given to you under the sun; for this is your reward in life and in your toil in which you have labored under the sun.”

This is a command to all of mankind, the unbeliever and believer. The unbeliever and reversionistic believer can actually enjoy life provided that the rest of this verse is fulfilled, “with the wife whom you love.” That is, he keeps on loving her. The principle is very important. If a man is a total failure and he finds his right woman, he is going to be happier than the man who is a total success and does not find his right woman.

  • Right man/right woman related to the Laws of Divine Establishment.

Under these laws, marriage becomes the Second Divine Institution. It is the protection of category #2 love, as per Heb 13:4; 1 Cor 7:9; 1 Tim 5:14; Rom 7:2-3; Gen 2:24-25; Eph 5:22, 25, 28, 31, 33.

Heb 13:4, “Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”

1 Tim 5:14, “Therefore, I want younger widows to get married, bear children, keep house, and give the enemy no occasion for reproach.”

Marriage forms the basis for stability in society and rejects the theory of both anarchy, promiscuity, and communal living. Anarchy and promiscuity comes when there is not a recognized system of marriage. Since the right man, right woman relationship was designed for the ultimate in human happiness, marriage is both the protection and the boundary for category #2 love.

Marriage is also protected by the Divine Institution #3, where parents have the responsibility for training their children, Eph 6:1-3, not someone else’s. Likewise, the husband is the authority in the marriage, Eph 5:22. As such, God protects the woman from tyranny, as the man with authority is first a little boy trained and taught by his mother and father. They teach him respect for womanhood by both their teaching and by their life, and this keeps him from becoming a tyrannical animal, Prov 31:1-3, 10-31.

Prov 31:3, “Do not give your strength to women, Or your ways to that which destroys kings.”

Prov 31:10, “An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.”

Once the couple is married, it is a matter of honor, integrity, and impersonal love, which must provide the power for the marriage to work. Monogamy is designed to remind the human race that there is only one right man for one right woman and vice versa, 1 Cor 7:2-4.

  • There are several analogies in Scripture portrayed by the right man/right woman relationship. Right man/right woman is used to teach many types of doctrine, since it is one of the most common relationships to the human race.
  • The Lord and Israel, Jer 2, 3, 13; Ezek 16, 23.
  • The Lord and the Church, Eph 5:26-33.
  • Christ, the Shepherd and bishop of the believer’s soul, 1 Peter 2:25, cf. 1 Peter 3:1.
  • The right woman is the glory of the man, just as the mature believer is the glory of God, 1 Cor 11:7.
  • The recognition of right man/right woman.

The first thing both parties need to do to recognize their right man or right woman is…. “Grow in the grace and knowledge of your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ,” 2 Peter 3:18. Yet, the doctrine of right man/right woman is for both believers and unbelievers. So, there has to be a way for all to recognize their right man or right woman. The Song of Solomon gives us 8 ways to identify your right man/right woman. In most of these passages, the Shulamite woman is speaking of her shepherd lover; right man/right woman.

Category 2 love involves one person in your soul whom you never forget and cannot eraseS.S. 1:7, “Tell me, O you whom my SOUL loves.” Someone who merely turns you on physically, but is not in your soul, is not the right man or right woman. The right one will be in your soul. Physical attractiveness is not eliminated, but it is not the key. When a man or woman is very sweet at one time and very rotten at another, yet he is still in your soul; that is the one. Your soul will photograph a person and that person is there forever. The right woman may love or hate her right man, but she will not be able to stop thinking about him. So, your recognition of right man or right woman begins in the soul.

Mentally this person becomes your frame of reference for everything. All memories are related to this person. Over a period of time, your norms and standards change so that this person is the honorable one, while other people are insignificant. In your viewpoint, everything in life is related to that right man or right woman. From your volition, you adjust your life with pleasure to please your right partner. You dress to please them and omit things in life to please them. Your emotion has a fantastic response to them.

Today, sex or body love has been emphasized to the exclusion of soul love. The movies, books, advertising, etc., all glorify sex, completely apart from the soul. Many are asking the question concerning identification of their right man or right woman, because they only hear about the body and sex, and do not even know how to identify soul love. As a result, young people do not know what soul love is, and instead seek out and react to stimulation in indiscriminate sex practices, or free love, coupled with drugs and alcohol. Since there is no soul relationship, they are sublimating with drugs or alcohol to get the sensation their Sin Nature lusts for. Consequently, there is increased fornication on the one hand and homosexuality on the other.

Teenagers should have an empty soul, as far as right man or right woman is concerned. Your capacity for Category 2 love is not yet ready. You should be filling your soul with norms and standards and Divine viewpoint from Bible doctrine, so that you will have the basis upon which to identify the right man or right woman at the right time. Recognition occurs in your soul, not in your physiological being.

Category 2 love demands knowledge of the other person. S.S. 1:2, “May he kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine.” As a person learns about the quality and uses of wine, so a man needs to know something about women, and particularly about one woman, under all conditions. There never was a woman who did not have many sides; and if you are such an idiot that you see only one or two, (e.g., sex and food), then you have missed something really wonderful in life, namely, the whole point of the doctrine of right man and right woman. A lot of people are never going to find their right man or right woman, because they do not know a thing about people.

Young woman, by the same token, need to understand something about men. For example, you need to recognize the “wolf.” This type of man has a fantastic, though misplaced, confidence in himself, based on pride. He believes that women cannot resist him. Women who are dumb about men are always impressed by this pseudo self-confidence. Frequently, when a man makes such a point of self-confidence, it is a veneer to hide insecurity. A man who assumes that he is irresistible to all women is in great danger spiritually, as well as physically and mentally. Excessive love of one’s self destroys the capacity to love in both the male and the female.

When Solomon discovered the Shulamite woman, he wanted her above all else; and in his egoism, he erroneously assumed she would not be able to resist him, S.S. 4. However, he had already destroyed, through promiscuity, any possibility of her being his right woman. Relationship with others, other than the right man or right woman, destroys the whole principle which God has designed. I am sure the “chaser” has never considered that his whole operation is anti-God, because God designed the right man for the right woman. Although Solomon has been regarded as a great lover, he was actually the most frustrated person alive. After so many women, he no longer had the capacity to love. Promiscuity put so much scar tissue on his soul, it knocked him out.

In Chapter 4, Solomon’s aggressiveness was related only to his selfishness and egocentricity and not to his love, vs. 8, “Come with me to Lebanon, my bride (wife)….” Although Solomon wanted the Shulamite woman to be his bride, he did not think to consult her concerning the honeymoon, but thought only in terms of what he wanted to do. Aggressiveness related to true love always considers the desires of the one loved. A man does not have to do a lot of things to be happy under true love; all he needs is for the woman to be happy.

Therefore, the right man or right woman can make identification without touching. The right woman always emphasizes the soul of her right man when they first know each other. She is looking for his precious soul. The right man is the most precious thing to the right woman, but she emphasizes his soul and hunts for that soul. A super-rapport develops where the two people cannot wait to share what has happened while they were apart.  They enjoy conversation, and even their silence has super-rapport.


1) Experience does not make a good lover! This is one of the greatest fallacies in Category 2 love. A lot of women are snowed on the idea that they need experience in order to be a good responder. But it is not experience which makes a good lover; it is the RIGHT MAN or the RIGHT WOMAN! Experience is the result, not the means.

2) Many times, a woman will go for a man because she thinks everyone else is going for him! That is a great error. You should only go for a man because he is in your soul.

3) Physical response should come only from soul response; which only comes with knowledge of his soul, and it is impossible in the course of a date or two.

Category 2 love is protective, both when the right man is present and when he is absent.

  • When present: S.S. 2:4, “He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love.” The word for “banner” means a “standard of protection.” The right man is not only her Lord, he is her protector at all times.
  • When absent: S.S. 1:13, “A bundle of myrrh is my well-beloved unto me; it (literally) shall lie all night betwixt my breasts.” Myrrh has a very lovely aroma. In the ancient world, a woman wore a bag of myrrh all night, which hung between her breasts. This pictures the sweet fragrance of memories of the right man in her soul when he is absent. She is protected in his absence by this fragrance of memory. The right woman can go anywhere in the world and be protected by the memory of her right man. This is a beautiful picture of doctrine protecting the believer from temptation.

Love must come from volition or free will.  S.S. 2:7, “…. stir not up, nor awake my love, till it (love) please.” The word “please” indicates volition. In other words, “let me choose my own lover.” True love always involves the operation of free will. Any man who seeks to destroy or coerce the volition of a woman is the WRONG MAN! The right man recognizes that what is not freely given is not worth having. Some men will never understand what true love is all about, because to them a woman is a “slot machine.” You put a coin in a slot and get sex. There is no volition involved in this kind of activity. Although a woman is a responder, once she is positive toward a man, she becomes aggressive in pleasing him. Response in itself has aggressiveness. This is declared in the woman’s volition.

True love is tone-orientedS.S. 2:8, 10, “The voice of my beloved… my beloved spake, and said unto me, Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.” Right man and right woman respond only to each other. A right man, or vice versa, can always tell the mood, the status of the condition of his right woman by the tone of her voice! In this rapport, the right man will be able to tell the mood of his right woman by her voice and action. The right man’s soul will have a good understanding of the right woman’s soul, emotions, moods, etc. You will also know your right woman because she will not react to you. Bitchiness in a woman is an indication of the wrong woman.

The woman’s love responds to the right man when present: S.S. 2:6, “Let his left hand be under my head, and his right hand embrace me.” And when absent: S.S. 3:1, “On my bed night after night I sought him whom my soul loves: I sought him, but did not find him.” We might say in modern colloquialism, “he turns you on.” This is not ordinary libido; any normal, healthy body has that at times. It is referring to something beyond libido. 1 Cor 7:9, describes the real thing by the word “burning,” “But if they do not have self-control, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” Burning, for the woman means, to trigger insatiability to the point of total desire and a total surrender that excludes even her natural pride. It is constant in contrast to libido, which comes and goes. The right man’s aggressiveness and passion will be consistent and these will satisfy her soul, and later on her body.

When unrequited, love can cause a strange illness (comma out) for which there is only one cure; the thought or memory of her lover, and his eventual return. S.S. 2:5, “Sustain me with raisin cakes, refresh me with apples: because I am lovesick.” She is love-sick with unrequited love for her absent shepherd lover. “Raisin cakes and apples” are things to keep her alter and awake to her right man while he is absent. The raisin cake was even thought to be an aphrodisiac.

Category 2 love is recognized by the two persons involved. S.S. 6:3, “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine…”  S.S. 7:10, “I am my beloved’s, and his desire is toward me.” There is no doubt about her lover; she has absolute confidence regarding her right man.

With the right man / right woman, there is a period of waiting, resisting temptation, and a period of doubt before God brings the right woman to the right man. Neither can work to get their right man or woman; it is a grace gift from God. God always brings the right woman to the right man. Grace takes up the slack before you find your right man or right woman. Bible doctrine is your right man or right woman until God leads her to you; and you do not even need to date others while waiting. But when God does bring her to him, you will recognize her through the rapport you have with her in Personal Love. In fact, both parties will recognize this rapport.

When the right man finds his right woman, physical compatibility is not a problem; the difficulty is recognition in the soul. Right man/right woman are not ashamed or disappointed in each other physically. The right woman fits the right man perfectly in sex. The right woman’s body is the most magnificent thing to the right man. You cannot make a woman your right woman by having sex with her or vice versa. The right man sees his right woman as personifying symmetry and beauty.

The right woman is a storm of passion when the right man makes love to her. When the right man makes love to his right woman, he satisfies her soul as well as her body.

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If you would like more information on this subject, you may watch/listen to lesson:
#’s 17-080 through 17-082

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If you have never accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, I am here to tell you that Jesus loves you. He loves you so much that He gave His life for you. God the Father also loves you. He loves you so much that He gave His only Son for you by sending Him to the Cross. At the Cross Jesus died in your place. Taking upon Himself all of your sins and all of my sins. He was judged for our sins and paid the price for our sins. Therefore, our sins will never be held against us. Right where you are, you now have the opportunity to make the greatest decision in your life.

To accept the free gift of salvation and eternal life by truly believing that Jesus Christ died for your sins and was raised on the third day as the proof of the promise of eternal life.

So right now, you can pause and reflect on what Christ has done for you and say to the Father:

“Yes Father, I believe that Your Son, Jesus Christ, died on the cross for the forgiveness of my sins.”

If you have done that, I welcome you to the eternal Family of God!

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